


'Cause I'm No Ordinary Bard

by KoalaKat



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: All h2o stuff will be explained, Also. no knowledge of h2o needed to read, Gen, Hurt Jaskier, I don't write the story because that implies knowing what will happen next, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, On Hiatus, This is less like a story and more like a bunch of interconnected one shots, but since this is all one shots you can read it without missing anything right now, merman Jaskier, might have angst later on, more tags to be added when I realize what the hell is going on in this story, take it or leave it because this is 100 percent self indulgent, will DEFINITELY have shenanigans later on, yes this is really an h2o!au of the witcher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26521204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoalaKat/pseuds/KoalaKat
Summary: When you turn into a merman at the slightest touch of water life turns a bit more challenging for you.Follow Jaskier as he struggles to balance his life as a bard with his secret life as a merman, feat!good friend Geralt
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 21
Kudos: 65





	1. I'm From The Deep Blue Underworld

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy reading this bc im definitely enjoining writing this.
> 
> Also, full disclosure I have not read, seen, or watched the witcher and all my knowledge of this fandom comes from the over 1,000 fics I have read in this fandom (no really, I've read A LOT of witcher fic)

It was a beautiful summer day when the Viscount and his wife had their first child, a beautiful baby boy by the name of Julian.

A week later when the family gathered at the entrance to the sea beneath their house. The house was built atop a cave, within which was a lake that emptied into the ocean. When baby Julian, carried by his father, was placed in the lake the water began to foam. The foam surrounded his legs, hiding them from view. When it finally dissipated there was a beautiful blue tail, the color of the sky on a clear summer day, in place of his legs. He was laying on his father’s tail, a bright purple one that stretched nearly five feet in length (Alfred Pankratz was always very proud of his tail, the very color of royalty, proving him fit for his role as Viscount).

Julian grew up loved and spoiled on the island that his family called home. He befriended some of the servant kids that were around his age, playing games both on land and in the sea. Not much happened on the island worth talking about in Julian’s opinion. The first event of note happened when he was five years old and his baby sister Isabella was born.

“Mama,” baby Julian stared up at his mom, eyes wide and sparkling with love and curiosity as he stared at his little sister, “what color do you think her scales will be?”

“Oh honey, your sister doesn’t have any scales.”

“Why not?”

“Because honey bunches, only the oldest kid gets to have scales.”

Julian deflated at that. “That’s not fair. Bella should get scales too.”

His mother laughed at that. “I agree, it’s terribly unfair. Unfortunately not everyone gets to have scales. But what’s truly important is that your dad and I love you both with all our hearts, scales or no.”

While Julian knew that not everyone had scales, his sister and best friend Jakub were proof enough of that, it wasn’t until he was thirteen that he learned why.

Nobody still alive remembers what happened or why but generations ago the Pankratz family was cursed. The eldest child born to the family would turn into a mer at the slightest touch of water. Despite this though none of the Pankratz’ really considered it a “curse”. Inconvenient for sure but it came with a lot of upsides, such as the ability to dive deep and explore the beauty beneath the waves and of course the amazing abilities power over water that they each have. 

The family had claimed the island they now called home around the time of the curse, it was the perfect home for them, with both an underwater and above ground entrance to the home. The children didn’t leave the island while the eldest learned to control their abilities (and learn how best to avoid water and by extension accidental transformation). The island was staffed with trusted people whose families had been keeping this secret for years alongside the Pankratz’.

Julian’s father was a fun-loving and care-free man who always seemed to have a smile on his face. So when his father sat him down with a serious expression set on his face he knew it was important. “Julian, you must never let anyone know about your scales.”

“Why not? My scales are amazing.”

His father gave a small smile at that. “Yes they are, but do you remember what you were taught about elves?”

“Because…” The young viscount-to-be scrunched up his face in thought, thinking back to his lessons that he only half paid attention to. “Because the elves were different and so the humans banished them?”

“It was a little more complicated than that, but essentially yes. So what do you think humans would do to you or me if they found out about us?”

Julian paled at that thought. He may be young but his parents had hired the best tutors around who spared no detail when describing the various atrocities humans had committed in the past. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

His father relaxed at that, his typical smile once again lighting up his face. “I’m glad. Make sure you keep that in mind when you go off to Oxenfurt next year.”

“Oxenfurt! But can’t I just stay here, where I don’t have to hide my scales?”

“I’m sorry, but you need to explore and see the world for yourself if you ever want to be a viscount.”

And so next fall Julian went to Oxenfurt. During his stay he quickly fell in love with both the city and his music lessons.

It took a couple years and a couple dozen letters but Julian, now Jaskier, convinced his parents to let him abdicate his position to his sister (who was absolutely thrilled at the prospect of ruling) and instead start his career as a bard. A month and a half later he found himself in a tavern in a little known town called Posada.


	2. There's No Telling Where We'll Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt learns Jaskier's scaly secret
> 
> includes a bit of angst and hurt!Jaskier

Jaskier never meant to keep his curse a secret from Geralt but, well, “I’m part time merman” just didn’t seem to come up naturally in conversation. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the Witcher, but after years of not letting anyone see his scales unless he was back home keeping his scales hidden was just...habit.

The excuses for never bathing around Geralt slid off his tongue before he even realized. He always washed his clothes separately and if a bit of water spilled on him he would quickly and discreetly evaporate it in the about 20 seconds from the initial spill to when his scales would appear.

Looking back Jaskier realized that he definitely should’ve told Geralt on his own instead of letting him find out in one of the worst ways possible.

~~~

“Geraaaaalt,” Jaskier pretended to swoon, throwing himself off balance and nearly tipping over in the process. “My delicate sensibilities can’t handle another night in the woods. We must find an inn soon or I fear that I shall surely perish.”

The witcher snorted, turning back to face the bard. “Well if your ‘delicate sensibilities’ hadn’t decided to try to dismember that man in the last town then we might’ve gotten a room there.”

At that point Jaskier straightened, a pout setting on his face. “Well he deserved it. I mean the nerve of some people, calling one of the nicest people I’ve ever met a monster.” He scoffed.

“I’m used to it, Jaskier. You don’t need to protect my honor. I can protect myself just fine.”

“But you shouldn’t need to! Those assholes just need to either see what an amazing guy you are or learn to keep their mouths shut. Besides,” Jaskier whispered, knowing Geralt could still hear him, “you deserve to have someone to protect you, even if you don’t need it.”

Geralt quickly turned away from the bard but Jaskier still caught the clush that started to form on his cheeks. “Whatever. Let’s just hope that the next town has a contract.”

Jaskier smiled at making Mr. “I don’t feel, I’m a big bad Witcher” blush but let the topic drop. Instead he started humming lines from a song he was working on as they made their way to the next town.

Once they reached the town they split ways, Geralt off to the notice board to look for a contract while Jaskier went off to get them a room and secure himself and opportunity to sing that night.

Room secured and Jaskier scheduled to sing in a couple of hours when the dinner crowd came, the bard found himself in their room for the night, attempting to polish off his newest song about Geralt’s battle with a griffin. He jumped, nearly dropping his lute as Geralt came stomping into the room. “Hey Geralt!” Jaskier jumped up, helping the witcher take off his armor and get settled. “Any good contracts available?”

Geralt just grunted, shedding the last of his armor and laying it out for the night. “Drowners. Sounds like a small pod.”

“Exciting.” Jaskier drawled. “It’d be nice if we could get more varied contracts, I’ve written probably half a dozen songs about drowners already.”

“Unfortunately it’s the drowners we’re getting paid for.”

“I just think it’s rather rude of the monsters not to allow us a bit more spice in life.”

“Well then,” Geralt smirked, “you wouldn’t mind staying behind then, would you?”

Jaskier spluttered. “Of course I would! If I’m not there to help patch you up then who will?”

“You do realize that I did survive for years without you.”

“But you don’t have to. Don’t you understand Geralt just because you don’t need help doesn’t mean that I won’t help you. I’m your friend Geralt, and I’ll always help you.”

Jaskier didn’t mind that Geralt just grunted and turned away. He knew that Geralt has a hard time processing his emotions and has most likely reached his limit on emotions for the day. 

“So when do we leave to go after the drowners?”

“We’ll go out at dawn.”

“Perfect.” Jaskier beamed. “So I still have time to wow the crowd tonight. Will you watch my set tonight?”

“I guess I could grab a bite to eat.” The witcher smirked.

~~~

The pair left early the next morning, setting off to find the drowners harassing the village.

When they got to the river the drowners were supposedly residing Geralt tied off Roach and readied his supplies before turning towards Jaskier. “Stay back. I don’t want you getting in the way.”

Jaskier took one look at the river, thinking of all the ways things could go wrong, especially with his curse in play, and hastily agreed.

With that the witcher nodded and went off to do his dirty, dirty, monster gut covered work. While Jaskier wanted to stay far away from the action for multiple reasons he did creep into a position to better view the fight. Afterall, it was up to him to turn this info into an amazing ballad and Melitele knows that Geralt won’t be any help in that sense.

It looked to be a fierce battle, four drowners all erupting from the river. Geralt lept into action, immediately felling the first drowner before the second one jumped on his back. Jaskier winced as he saw the sharp claws dig into Geralt’s armor as the third attacked from the front.

Jaskier watched, fascinated, as Geralt beheaded the third drowner. The witcher did a roll, throwing the last drowner off his back. With all his attention on the fight before him Jaskier didn’t hear the rustling in the bushes behind him.

The bard screamed as the fourth drowner burst from the bushes, leaping for his head. Jaskier quickly scrambled back, dodging the first blow. The bard fell as the second attack hit, lodging one of the drowners claws deep into his thigh. A scream tore itself from Jaskier’s throat, echoing across the forest.

He must’ve blacked out for a moment because one second he was alone, a drowner trying to eat him alive. The next second the drowner was dead beside him and Geralt’s face hovered above him, looking terribly worried.

“Jaskier. Jaskier look at me.” He could never deny Geralt anything, so he opened his eyes. When had he closed them? “I’m going to clean out the wound so I can see how bad it is, okay?”

“No...” Jaskier muttered. “No water.”

“Look bard I have to clean out that wound before you get an infection. Stay. Here.” With that Geralt stood and made his way over to the river.

Jaskier drifted in the silence, unable to focus on anything. He smiled when he saw Geralt above him again. “You came back.”

“Yes Jask, I’m back.” Geralt sighed. “Now I need to clean out your wound.”

His leg felt like it was on fire so the cool cloth against it felt nice. At first. After a couple second though it felt like his leg started to tear, the gash widening and ripping apart more of his delicate flesh.

Soon his vision blacked out, but along with the blackout his pain went away so Jaskier figured it couldn’t be that bad.

~~~

When Geralt heard Jaskier scream he swore he felt his heart stop. He made quick work of the remaining drowner before turning towards his friend. There the bard was, a drowner with a claw in his leg attempting to eat the man whole.

Geralt saw red. How dare that beast think that it could put a hand on his bard. The witcher charged across the river bank, killing the drowner in one fell swoop. He had no time to rest though, Jaskier was losing too much blood far too fast.

First priority had to be cleaning out the wound, despite Jaskier’s nonsensical protests. Infection was the last thing they needed right now. He gathered some water from the river and wet a cloth with it.

He’d barely started cleaning out the wound when the worst noise Geralt had ever heard tore it’s way out of the bard’s mouth. He barely even winced at the sound of the scream grating against his sensitive ears, focused as he was on the magic that was covering and obscuring the bard’s legs. His medallion was practically thrashing against his chest.

When the magic faded away Jaskier’s legs had been replaced by a huge bright blue tail, about 5 feet in length, and his clothes had... disappeared.

What.

The.

Fuck.

It was then that Geralt realized that Jaskier had passed out. Shit. What if he couldn’t breathe air now that he was a merman. (He was pointedly ignoring the question of how or why for the moment.) New first priority: make sure that his friend could breathe.

With that thought in mind he grabbed Jaskier, placing one hand behind his bare (and surprisingly muscular) shoulders and the other under his tail, just a bit away from where it faded back into skin. It wasn’t ideal, Jaskier was taller (longer?) in this form and the end of his tail was dragging on the ground.

Nevertheless he made it to the river. He’d meant to set the bard down gently in the water. Unfortunately, he’d tripped on a drowner limb and sent both himself and Jaskier flying into the water.

The fall combined with the sudden rush of cold water woke jaskier up. He came to, spluttering as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. “Geralt. What the fuck?”

“You’re a fucking merman Jaskier! What was I supposed to do?”

“Not throw me in a freezing cold river?”

“But mermen can’t breathe air.” Geralt was thoroughly confused by this point.

“Sucks to be them. I’m not a merman, not technically anyways.”

Now that both of them had calmed down some Geralt remembered what started this whole mess. “Let me see your... tail... I need to make sure your wound is all clean and bandaged.”

“Oh I’m sure it’s plenty clean Geralt, afterall, I might as well be taking the weirdest bath of my life.” Despite all his complaining Jaskier did maneuver so that Geralt could better access the gash in his tail. It looked nasty, ripped longer now that his body had stretched, and turning all the surrounding water pink.

“So. Merman?”

Jaskier sighed, lying down on the river bank. “It’s a family curse, although it’s not that bad really.”

Geralt just raised an eyebrow at the bard. 

“It’s not so bad when I don’t have a giant gash in my thigh.” He conceded. “Bit of a first for me, believe it or not.”

“Do you need help removing it? Your curse I mean.”

“None of us have tried honestly. Besides we don’t even know how, why, or by who the curse was cast.” Jaskier shrugged. “The oldest one in the family with it is my great grandma. She remembers that she wasn’t born with it but she was only a toddler when it was cast so she doesn’t remember any of the specifics. Her parents died when she was a young, killed by revolutionaries, so she was never able to ask them what happened.”

“I’m surprised she wasn’t killed too.”

“Oh she nearly was, but one of the revolutionaries took pity on her and helped her to safety. Bad move on their part because she laid in wait, biding her time, and 70 years later she led her own army and took back our lands.”

“So, you’re okay with this? With having this curse?”

“Totally Geralt.”

“Good because you’re going to be stuck like this for a few days while that wound heals.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time ever I actually have a plan on where this fic is going!
> 
> Plan for the chapters (as of right now):  
> moonstruck  
> 4(maybe 5)+1 times jaskier transformed  
> moonstruck pt 2 electric boogaloo  
> meet the family


	3. Moonstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think the title says it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, a combination of college and medical issues have really been eating up my time
> 
> :/

Jaskier had been on edge all day. Fidgeting more than usual and glancing at the sky. He hadn’t been any quieter, Jaskier’s never quiet, but he’d been rambling. Too distracted by whatever was bothering him to stay on any one topic for very long.

“Geralt, can we stop for the night?”

Of course the witcher would stop for him, even if he wasn’t worried about whatever was bothering Jaskier, the two of them were friends and if the bard needed to stop Geralt would gladly do so. Still, the request made him pause. It was still a couple of hours until sundown. The out of character request had only served to increase his worry.

Apparently Jaskier had misread his silence as denial as he tripped over himself backtracking. “I mean we don’t have to- It’s fine if we- That is to say-”

“Jaskier.” Geralt grunted. “It’s fine, let’s find a suitable clearing.”

Immediately some of the tension that had resided in the bard’s frame all day eased. “Thanks, it means a lot to me”

The witcher just grunted as he led Roach into a clearing he’d found. Despite the mystery surrounding their stop everything went as they normally did. Jaskier set up camp and got the fire started as Geralt went out hunting for some dinner. The only difference was that when they were all finished the sun was still a good hour or two from setting. 

“So,” Jaskier sighed, “I guess you’re wondering about the early stop.”

“If you don’t want to you don’t have to tell me.’

“No, no. It’s fine.” The bard chuckled. “It’s a bit of a story though. So, you remember my curse?”

“You were stuck as a merman for a week, I doubt I’ll forget that.”

Jaskier grumbled. “Yes, thanks for reminding me of that embarrassing event. But, well, transforming at the touch of water isn’t the only thing the curse does. It gives us powers, like I can evaporate water-”

Geralt snorted. “What, so you can heat up water?”

“Yes Geralt.” Jaskier gave him an overly sweet smile. “I can heat up water.” The bard then picked up one of their water pouches and spilled some on Geralt’s hand.

“What was that-” Geralt cut himself off with a cry as Jaskier closed his fist causing Geralt’s hand to heat up. It felt like he was holding it over the fire. Suddenly the pain was gone as Jaskier opened up his hand again.

“I don’t actually need the water poured on before, the water in one’s skin is plenty enough for me to heat up, but it hurts less this way.” Despite himself Geralt was impressed, but he merely grunted as he stared at his still red palm. “Anywho, back to the story. So, along with the tail and water powers something… happens to us during the full moon.”

“Like werewolves?”

“No, nothing as graphic as that. It’s just, if we see the full moon we… lose our minds I guess would be the right term, until the moon eventually sets.”

“What do you mean by ‘lose your mind’?”

Jaskier shrugged. “It’s different every time, but I’ve never heard of one of us becoming especially violent, so there’s that at least.”

Geralt frowned, thinking of all the years they’d travelled together. “How’d I never notice before?”

“Well, before I’d always just stay back at an inn for an extra night, catching up to you after it ended. Unless of course one of your hunts lined up just right.”

Geralt hmm’d. “Is there anything you need me to do?”

“I have a blindfold that I wear on nights like this. Just, promise you won’t let me take it off, no matter what happens during the night.”

Jaskier looked… scared at the thought of his blindfold coming off. Geralt thought he could understand the fear. The thought of losing his mind, losing control of himself, even for a night, was enough to make him shiver. “I promise.”

With that they settled in for the night, Jaskier in his bedroll with the biggest and tickets blindfold Geralt had ever seen. He decided to forgo sleep for the night, choosing instead to meditate against a tree near where Jaskier was sleeping.

Within the hour the sun had set and with it the moon had started to rise. Luckily Jaskier had yet to stir. Geralt had been worried that the presence of the moon would rouse Jaskier and tempt him to look but the bard just slept on peacefully. He relaxed, looks like tonight was going to be a quiet night after all.

He should’ve known better than to tempt fate by thinking that.

An hour or two into his watch a noise off in the woods roused Geralt from his meditation. As his eyes snapped open the first thing he saw was the moon, now high in the sky, before scanning the woods where the noise had originated. Seeing nothing he was about to shrug off the noise as just another forest creature going about its business when a band of bandits burst forth from the treeline.

Geralt leapt to his feet, sword in hand, ready to face off against the five intruders. “Leave now and keep your lives.” He warned.

One of them, the leader Geralt assumed, snorted. “Fat chance. It’s five against one so I’m liking our odds.”

“Five humans against one witcher.” He reminded them. “In the dark.”

A few of the bandits began to look nervous, like they were rethinking their decision to rob this particular campsite. “Ignore him.” The leader snapped. “Just gut him and we can get on with robbing this campsite.”

With that the battle commenced. Normally the dark would give him a large advantage but the brightness of the full moon meant that the bandits could actually see pretty well tonight. The first bandit was sliding off of his sword and he was turning to fend off the second before Geralt heard Jaskier start to rouse. “Geralt?” The blindfolded man asked, sitting up. “What’s going on?”

“It’s fine.” Geralt grunted as he blocked another hit from the bandit behind him. “Just a couple bandits, I’ve got it covered.”

“C’mon really?” One of the bandits exclaimed. “We’re trying our best here.” Geralt hit the bandit on her head, knocking her unconscious. One down, four to go.

The bard was faced towards the violence but was not seeing anything with the blindfold covering his face. “Are you sure? It sounds very… violent.”

While Geralt was distracted by Jaskier calling out one of the bandits got in a hit, slashing his leg. He didn’t get a moment’s rest though as he then had to block two oncoming blows on his right. “Alright, I’ve had enough of this.” He muttered.

He cast aard, sending the two on his right flying. The one on his left was quick work after that. He was about to start looking around for the leader when he heard Jaskier call out from behind him. Geralt whipped around and found the leader holding a knife to Jaskier’s throat.

“G-Geralt?”

The bandit leader laughed. “I’ve got your precious bard, witcher. As much as I love our current arrangement,” he leaned in close, mouth next to Jaskier’s ear as his free hand stroked the bard’s face. Geralt suppressed a growl at the motion. “I want to see the terror in your eyes.”

“No don’t!” Jaskier screamed. Too late as the bandit had already undone the knot, letting the blindfold fall to their feet. Jaskier had his eye shut tight to prevent his seeing the moon.

“Nuh-uh little birdie. I said I wanted to see your eyes and no one says no to me!” He growled, pulling harshly on the bard’s hair.

Jaskier gasped, eyes popping open in surprise. Suddenly he froze, eyes locked on the moon overhead. It seemed a small detail but Geralt couldn’t help but notice how the moon was reflected in his eyes to an unnatural degree. Slowly, as if there wasn’t a knife pressed to his throat, Jaskier lowered his eyes. The merman giggled, shocking both the witcher and bandit. “Isn’t it pretty?” He asked, still giggling uncontrollably. “Don’t you think the moon is so pretty tonight?”

Geralt was concerned. Yes the merman had warned him that something like this would happen but seeing his bard losing control of himself because of something Geralt couldn’t control was terrifying. “Jaskier, are you okay?”

The question brought forth more giggles from the bard. “Never better Geralt! I feel like I could just… burst into song!” He gasped before shooting Geralt a drunken smile. “In fact I think that’s exactly what I’ll do!”

“Jaskier, I don’t think-”

“Shut! Up!” The bandit screamed. “Both of you just shut up!”

Jaskier pouted. “You’re a meanie. Meanies don’t get to tell me what to do.” Geralt didn’t know what to expect from the bard’s singing in his moondrunk state but it certainly wasn’t for his medallion to start vibrating and the bandit to drop his knife, a goofy grin spreading on his face. When the merman stopped singing the bandit began clapping, praising Jaskier.

“Did you like it?” Jaskier asked.

“It was amazing.” The bandit sighed. “You were amazing. I love you.”

Jaskier cooed. “Aww, aren’t you sweet. What about you Geralt, did you like my singing?”

Even without falling under the siren spell of Jaskier’s singing Geralt could tell that the bard sounded good. “I always like your singing Jaskier.” He didn’t add on that he preferred his normal ones better, with lyrics and sung under Jaskier’s own freewill. He worried about how the merman might act if angered right now.

Jaskier clapped. “Oh goody! We should put on a concert!”

“Yes, yes! Everyone should get to hear your wonderful singing!” The bandit praised.

“Aww thanks sweetie.” Jaskier chuckled.

Geralt grunted. “We can’t.”

“Can’t?” Jaskier narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean can’t?”

Shit, he didn’t want to provoke the merman. He’d never be able to forgive himself if he accidentally hurt his friend in a fight. Better to appease the bard for now and try to stall until morning. “I mean you can’t perform here, there isn’t a big enough audience for a singer such as you.” The witcher had no intentions of letting the moon crazy bard anywhere near civilization but he didn’t need to know that.

“Oh Geralt,” Jaskier sighed, “you are so sweet for thinking that. Of course as many people as possible should be able to hear the magic and majesty of my voice.”

“And I’ll be right there by your side.” The bandit piped up from where he sat.

“Yes!”

“No!”

The two friends looked at each other, the merman confused and the witcher panicked. “Geralt, why shouldn’t this perfectly lovely fellow come with us?” Jaskier asked in a carefully level tone, clearly not happy at the witcher’s outburst.

Geralt wracked his brain for an answer that Jaskier would accept in his moon-addled state. “He can’t come with us because… he needs to stay here to take care of his friends! Yes, that’s it. He has to stay here so that when his friends wake up they can come and see your concert too.”

“Very thoughtful of you Geralt.”

The bandit pouted, clearly unhappy about being left behind but didn’t argue with the merman. “Come on Jaskier, we better get going if you want to make it to your audience in time.”

“Oh yes! Let’s get going then, we wouldn’t want to deny the public the gift of my voice.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and sighed, it was going to be a very long night. At least he knew that by morning he’d have his friend back and things would be back to normal. He repeated that thought as a mantra as he packed up camp. The moon-addled merman offered no help with pacing up the camp, merely singing as he drunkenly brushed Roach’s mane, his movements uncoordinated and clunky. 

The witcher led them into the woods, claiming to know a shortcut. In reality he was leading Jaskier as far away as he could from any traces of society, keeping a close eye on the merman to ensure that he didn’t wander off and try to enchant any townsfolk.

Unfortunately he’d been paying so much attention to Jaskier that he’d missed the signs of the approaching town until it was too late. Geralt had had no clue that this village, and he was being generous with that word, existed since it wasn’t on any map. Geralt felt like hitting himself, how could he have missed this!

Jaskier on the other hand was ecstatic at the sight of civilization. “Oh Geralt! Thank you so much for this! I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.” With that the merman bounced over to the witcher and planted a kiss on his cheek. Normally Geralt would revel in this kind of attention from his bard but he couldn’t, not right now when the man wasn’t in control of his actions.

The witcher glanced at the sky, sighing with relief as he saw the moon nearing the horizon. “How about we get ourselves a room Jaskier. It’ll give your voice a chance to rest before giving your big performance.”

The merman giggled. “Nonsense. I’m in tip top shape Geralt!”

“Please,” he sighed, “can we get a room first? For me Jaskier.”

“Oh fine.” The merman pouted.

Geralt breathed a sigh of relief, that was one less problem that he has to deal with tonight. The witcher quickly booked a room for them both, not even pausing at the high mark up the innkeep gave him.

“Come on Jaskier,” he sighed as he went to pull the merman away from an adoring crowd that had seemed to gather before him.

“But my fans Geralt! They love me!” His protest was met with many frenzied agreements from the crowd.

“If they really love you that much then I’m sure they can wait a few hours.” The crowd all groaned as the pair made their way upstairs.

Geralt shut the door and slumped against it in relief. He smiled at the lightening sky outside the window to their room. “Just another hour or two.” He muttered to himself.

He’d just finished unpacking and was making the two of them as comfortable as possible on the mattress the inn provided. At first the merman was fidgeting, pacing up and down the room, but slowly he calmed down, taking a seat on the bed. Geralt could see the sky continuing to lighten outside and assumed that this was just the bard coming down from his moon sickness.

“Geralt,” Jaskier piped up from the bed, “how about I go grab us some breakfast.”

The sky was bright blue at this point so Geralt didn’t see any problem with this. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Thanks Geralt!” The merman giggled. “See you in a bit.”

“Hmm.”

After a few minutes when Jaskier still hadn’t returned Geralt decided to go check on the merman. When he walked out of the room Geralt could hear some faint singing and felt his medallion begin to vibrate. “Oh no.” He raced to the tavern downstairs. When he got there he saw Jaskier surrounded by a massive crowd, the entire town must’ve gathered to hear the merman sing his siren song. In the middle of it all was Jaskier singing the same lyricless tune as he did back in the woods.

Geralt felt like slapping himself. He should’ve checked that the moon had actually set before he let Jaskier go out on his own. “Come on Jaskier, we’re leaving.”

“No!” One of the townspeople slammed into Geralt. “You’re not taking him all for yourself!”

“Wait! I-” His protests were all for naught as he was tackled by more townspeople. He knew he could probably take them all even though he was unarmed, but he didn’t want to hurt any of them when they were under a spell.

Suddenly Jaskier’s singing cut off, the crowd snapping out of their frenzy. “Uh,” the bard looked lost, “thank you for listening my good people but I shall have to say adieu now and head off to my room. You were a wonderful crowd, goodnight! Er… morning.” With that Jaskier quickly made his way to where Geralt was picking himself off of the ground. “What in Melitele’s name happened last night?” he hissed.

“Let's get back to our room first.”

Once they were behind closed doors Geralt explained what happened. The bandits, Jaskier getting moonstruck, the village. “I’m sorry.” He said after he was all done. “I promised to protect you and I failed.”

“Oh you didn’t fail Geralt, no one could have predicted that the bandits would show up.”

“But I-”

Jaskier pushed a finger to his lips, silencing him. “Nope, no buts. You made sure that I didn’t hurt myself or others and I couldn’t have asked for more. Now I think it’s time for me to take advantage of this room you rented and sleep the day away. I’m exhausted.”

“It’s almost like you spent all night running around the woods.”

Jaskier laughed. “Yeah, I guess I did. And so did you so get over here.” He patted the bed next to him. “There’s plenty of room for the both of us.”

That’s how the day passed, with the two of them cuddled up on the bed sleeping the day away.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that this is mainly just exposition but next chapters we get the bois together!


End file.
